Nowadays, my daily life has become a constant struggle between my reality and the hallucinations. Once upon a time, I was good writer and a good Catholic. It's not that I didn't sinned back then, I did occasionally but I managed to pick myself up every now and then. Then 3 years ago I was at a crossroad, a decision that I had to make at a time that would change my life forever. That decision was abortion and that time was my sanity. And then a year later I was back at the same crossroad once again and I made the same decision once again. But by this time my sanity, my soul and my whole life has gone completely berserk. And I was never the same again.
So, to stop time from making me revisit that crossroads again and again, I succumbed to a lethal behavior. I feed my imaginations with pornography so that I won't feel pain. Guess what? Not only it didn't work it had turned me into a silent monster. I am addicted to porn now and yes I am very ashamed with myself. How did I let this happen? How can I let this happen? .... At least I am admitting now that I have a problem. I know I am not perfect, but I didn't want to be a complete wreckage. No, not like this. Help me please. I pray for help because I know I won't be able to overcome this on my own. Please. Pray for me and help me.
